I have overcommit-itis!

Overcommit-itis is also known as overpromising and underdelivering...trying to be superwoman and not achieving it...doing things by halves...spreading myself too thin...

And unfortunately, I've realised that I've been doing this in every aspect of my life.

So how did I realise this?

Well funnily enough, it was while I was at my yoga class tonight that I suddenly came to me.

In actual fact, it was one of the biggest kerplunks I've had for a while!

I love that about yoga - for me it's a case of the stillness speaks. (Aka my mind stops, so there's room for answers and guidance to come in!!)

That and I'm becoming more attuned to my body, so when I have some sort of pain or tension, I tap into it and unravel the sensation, emotion and then thoughts (and thank you Dr Susan Bernstein for teaching me this great trick!)

But more on that later.

As I was saying - I realised that I do currently suffer from overcommitting, in every sense of the word.

In no particular order, I overcommit my:

• Time
• Resources
• Money
• Time
• Body
• Mind
• And did I mention time!

So how have I realised this?

Well in the last week and today in particular, I've had a few really healthy reality checks about how I am overcommitting.

• I've realised with a shock that my budget hasn't been complete or accurate enough to achieve everything we want to do - hello overcommitting and spreading ourselves too thin!
• I've realised that another symptom has been getting to work late...which has all stemmed from overcommitting my time in the morning to try and fit in yoga, making lunch, getting ready...and all when I'm struggling to get out of bed by 6.10 to leave at 7...yep, you do the maths!
• I've realised that at work I'm not setting realistic enough expectations for how much I can do in a day or week, so deadlines go by.
• I've realised that while my heart's in the right place, I've overcommitted the amount of time and resources I can allot to helping out in my community service roles.
• And you know what, I think more the I think about this, the more I'm going to go...oooohhh, there's another way I overcommit!

I don't do any of this with an intention to mislead, or with any kind of malice, in fact whenever I commit to something, I really think I can achieve it.

What I'm learning though is - I'm great at coming up with ideas, great at making plans (and making them look pretty!), but my problem is that in general I either don't make the deadlines realistic enough, or I just put too much on my plate at once because I...yep you guessed it, overestimate my abilities to achieve it all!

And while I like to think of myself as someone who doesn't do things by halves, I've been giving myself no other option than to do just that.

Perhaps it is just what I was writing the last blog about - needing to learn how to say no to things? 

Meanwhile, apologies if this sounds like cryptic, but it makes sense to me!

The best part of this realisation is how neatly it flows on from my last blog about releasing the need to be superwoman, because I think this kind of answers part of the how to do it.

So now what?

Well I think I'm going to spend the next week or so identifying everywhere that I am overcommitting, and putting my hand up to say 'sorry, I know I said I could do this, but it turns out I was wrong. I'll just need to change/stop...'

Because that's another symptom of my overcommit-itis, I tend to keep it all to myself until I have gotten very close to or over the deadline...and then say eek or try and be superwoman!

And you know what, I think people will be pretty receptive to this kind of honesty.

Then from there, I need to work out strategies on how I can change the way I approach my life.

But at least I've got the hardest bit done now - identifying what the problem is!

Phew - told you this was a big kerplunk!!!

PS I was going to make my own version the above image with it saying kerplunk...but realised this would be overcommitting my time tonight as it's after 10 and I need to go to bed so I can get up on time tomorrow morning...he he, look at me go!!!

The plot thickens...

Wow...what a day...what a weekend...what a fortnight!! 

The lessons and kerplunk moments are coming thick and fast for me at the moment (you know the ones when the penny doesn't just drop, they hit the ground with a thud!).

I started writing this last week, but didn't get the chance to actually hit post...could've partially been me wanting my ducks in a row before I posted it, ie wanting to be 'cured' of my chest infection entirely.

But as it turns out this lovely chesty business had a bit more to teach me than I'd first thought!

I got to a point last week when I thought - wow would you just go away.

But as I'm learning more and more, my body is a sensitive apparatus nowadays.

When I'm out of balance, be it mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually - it quickly shows itself...and doesn't go away until the imbalance is fixed, consciously or subconsciously.

Not that I jump right to it and fix things at the slightest inkling, but in cases such as this, I didn't really have the choice. It was a little too obvious for me to ignore and hoping it'd just go away wasn't working!

So finally last week I went 'right body, clearly I still haven't learnt the lesson, otherwise you would be feeling better by now - so let's have it!'

Without further ado, here's some of the things I've learn this last few weeks...I say some, because this is really only a snippet!

Despite having a lot of colour in my life...I can be a bit black and white

Which is kind of funny seeing as I'm a Collingwood supporter!

I can be very logical, cause and effect - which serves me well in a lot of instances.

But where it doesn't serve me is when I get into judgment mode - making something right or wrong and  only looking at the surface to make a fairly snap judgment rather than looking deeper, or taking a step back to see the trees and the forest.

Kind of funny seeing as I'm all about getting to the cause of things, not just treating the symptom!

Take this illness for instance...I instantly jumped to the conclusion that I'd been thinking the 'wrong' thoughts that I just need to fix and then voila, it'd be all good (a habit I'd been running with for a while, I think it's perfectionism in disguise!).

So off I went to my Mind-Body bibles - aka Louise Hay's You Can Heal Your Life, and Inna Segal's The Secret Language of Your Body.

I read the symptoms, went yep - I tick all those boxes (not for the first time I might add, I've had chesty goodness before!). So now I'll stick my affirmations up, fix my thoughts and it'll all be ok.

What I've only just realised though that I forgot the crucial element - affirmations don't make things happen, they make things welcome. 

So me saying the 'right' words alone wasn't going to fix it - but it did bring about the elements I needed to look at. And in turn the healing.

Oh - KERPLUNK!!!!

That's freakin' hilarious - I literally only just realised that! Ha - I almost know Louise's book back the front and I am a massive mind-body head...but I'd forgotten that key element!!!!

Affirmations and thoughts in general are the beginning - not the be all and end all!

Aaah - this is what I love about life - the unfurling and discovering new gems!

Wow. Anyway, here's a few things that have contributed to me breathing clearer and having a much lighter chest...

1. I need to rest - and that's ok! 
• Nathan had said to me a week or so prior to me getting sick that I need to just take a week off for myself, but I said I couldn't. Well apparently I could when forced to!
• While I love to be on the go and doing things, it can be detrimental to my health when there's too much go and no stop.
2. Time to simplify my life. 
• Part of the mind-body symptom for an Upper Respiratory Cold is 'Too much going on at once' and boy have I had that in spades! An ongoing lesson for me is simplifying my life rather than attempting to do seventeen things at once, and not achieving any of them. 
• Essentially I need to give up the need to be superwoman - while I do look great in a cape, I'm not so down with the knickers over tights! 
3. I had too much Kapha going on...
• I'll explain this further this week when I finally do a blog on Ayurveda and it's amazing effect on my life! But essentially, I had been eating foods and doing things that caused a build up of Kapha in my body, aka mucus. Bleurgh.
4. I needed to get [more than] a few things off of my chest...
• Something that has happened progressively these last few weeks. Feeling better for it too!

And now for my personal favourite...

It's time to let my guard down.

I was lying in bed two Tuesdays ago after listening to week 1 of Dr Susan Bernstein's Reinvent your Role online course (all about getting more out of your work or figuring out where to next - highly recommend it!).

At any rate, as part of that session, she'd spoken about describing the Sensations in your body...then getting to the Emotion...then the Thought (or getting SET for short). 

As I mentioned before, I'd been going straight to the thought and then how I can fix it - ha! So anyway, I thought I'd give this a crack, because I had a very noticeable sensation to try it out on...

I felt like I had a brick on my chest so I thought ok, what does this actually feel like.

It's tight...restrictive...heavy. It's also feels like my heart's in a cage or armour or shell of some sort. Yeah that's it, a shell. But it's soft underneath.

And a second later I almost burst out laughing (but didn't because Nathan was sleeping!)...because I'm a Cancer...so yep it's time to shed my little crabby shell!

I'll split this particular topic into a few posts over the coming weeks - otherwise this is going to be a bit of an epic.

(Ha ha - I just walked out to the kitchen as this song lyric was played 'I've got nothing to hide'! True that!)

So to finish up - here's my favourite quote I've heard of late that I think sums up this post and my last few weeks perfectly...

"Your body never lies, but your mind seldom tells the truth."

And I'd add - don't try and tell your body that it's wrong, it's just a waste of time!