The power of the exhale...

I had a really interesting chat with my fabulous yoga teacher Denise from Wellbeing@Work before class yesterday...she always has a pearl of wisdom to offer, and last night was no different.

Make the exhale active.

This was the succinct message that came out of a meditation course that she attended on the weekend with a Swami...yep a real Swami!

So what does that mean?

Well as Denise said, we put so much emphasis on the inhale - particularly in yoga. 


And usually, the exhale is all about relaxing and letting go so you can sink further into the posture. We just let that happen.

If you use the same analogy for life, usually we put the emphasis on the bringing in...getting more and more and more.

And we don't tend to put as much focus on the exhale, which is letting go and releasing...be it of possessions, commitments, beliefs, memories, addictions, habits etc.

I think it's also about appreciating what you've exhaled into your life. What have you finished and achieved, what stuff have you actually gotten? What have you put out there, and then seen the result of it come into your life?

And the exhale is also about what can you give back to life. Whether it's on a personal level - who can you help? What can you impart on the world around you? Or on an environmental level...having your own compost and vege patch, recycling, less waste. Or on a community level, be it as simple as getting involved in your sporting club or donating to a charity.

So what if you turned it around? What if you put more focus on the exhale?

Right now, take a deep breath in, then really focus on the exhale, emptying out your lungs completely.

And just let the inhale happen.

You don't have to make that happen - your lungs will do it automatically, you don't even have to try.

See how much power you feel when you make that exhale active? I certainly did. 

It was like I was making way for the next breath, clearing out my body completely - and then the inhale could sort of float in, bringing in the new.

So bringing that back to life now, if you take the focus off of the inhale for a while, then it's not all about what's next, what more do I need, what don't I have enough of. Not about what you can take from life.

Because really - how much stuff do we all have...and better yet, how much of it do we actually need?!


When you focus on the exhale in your life, you can focus on what you can release from your life, what you no longer need.


That could be getting rid of any possessions that you no longer need in your life.

Whether that's cleaning out the pantry, your wardrobe, the crap drawer...I've done the first two of those, and boy does it feel good! Crap drawer - you're next!

It could be simplifying your busy schedule...something else I've done in the last month. I've let go of all commitments throughout my week - so now I've got a bare week, ready to be filled with new activities...which does feel a bit odd really!

But I think I'm just going to enjoy having it to fill!

Or it could be letting go of some old beliefs or habits that no longer serve you - and just watch the difference it makes to your mental and physical self.

Geez have I had a whole bunch of that in the past few months!

Now that I've thought about this a bit more, I've realised that I've been doing a bunch of exhaling/releasing this past year, on all levels of my life...but I haven't really sat back to appreciate just how much.

Which is a great segway to my next point...

How often do you stand back, just to appreciate how great your life just as it is?

Believe me, I've got some practicing to do in this arena. As I've written about in a past blog, I love the good old Attitude to Gratitude, but it's something that I've been forgetting about lately.

And like anything, practice makes perfect. If I don't use my Gratitude muscle for a while, it gets weak and flabby!!!

I've gotten to caught up in what I don't have (and in turn how that makes me not good enough, or worthy of criticism from myself!), instead of appreciating all the fabulous things in my life.

That can be as simple as having a great night's sleep in a comfy bed, to having enough milk in the fridge for your cereal, or even just having air to inhale!

The third part of the exhale - what can you give back?

I personally love getting involved in the community. Something that I've forgotten these past few years, but am trying to bring back into my life more and more.

When I was a kid, I loved making muffins to sell at church to raise money for someone. And I loved getting involved in fundraising events - something I still love doing now. I was always more than a player at netball too, and didn't really think twice about.

I'm lucky, because my parents were/are both really active in the community through different things, so it's something that was encouraged from a young age.

And come to think of it, now that I've got spare time coming back into my schedule, I think giving back is going to rise up the list so it's part of each week.

The other thing with letting things go - then you've got room to bring in the new.

It's really not healthy to focus on more, more, more all the time. Or me, me, me.

Because if all you're trying to do is layer things, stack things, cram other things into the corner and still bring in more things...pretty soon, you're on overload.

Whether it's not having room to move in your house or head - hoarding isn't healthy!

If you're life's already full - where can the new come in?

The last great point that Denise made last night...once you've exhaled in life, what if you just step back and allow in what you need.

Like the next inhale, know that it's going to be there. Not forcing it, not going looking for it. Just trusting that what you need will be there.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around all of this, but it definitely struck a chord with me. And I'm amazed how long this post ended up being!

Here I was at the start thinking I was going to say a few words on "instead of focusing on what you can get, focus on what you can release."

But now I've realised that the exhale is a little bit more complex than that...turns out the breath is a lot more holistic than I first thought! I love delving into stuff like this!

So now my challenge for this week is to take my focus off of the inhale/bringing in (because I've got plenty of toys I don't use already!), and to focus on the exhale/releasing/gratitude/giving.

In fact, I think I'll take it one step further...

This week, I take the time to honour the exhale.

And to finish off, I'm going to invite you to do the same thing as Denise suggested last night...

Just take a moment to ponder this, you might be interested to find what comes up.

Oops I did it again...

Ha ha if you now have Britney Spears in your head, but it seemed the most appropriate title!

So what have I done again? I've manifested the symptoms of a chest infection and sore throat.

And how did I manage that?

Because I've had 'too much to do and not enough time to do it'...I haven't had any time to rest...I've got so much to do and I don't know what to do next...I just want to get this done and it's taking forever, so I can't start something else...my to-do list has been weighing heavily on me...

Recognise some of these?

I'm a big believer in the mind-body connection...in fact it's the integral part of my life's work to be a healer.

At any rate, the crux of it what the mind-body connection means to me - my words and thoughts create my world.

And I've got a cracking example of that from this week!

I started feeling a bit chesty and throaty last week, to which I thought and said 'oh here we go, this always happens when I've got too much going on in my world and I get a bit overwhelmed by it'. 

I really wanted to have the day off on Friday, but didn't! 

So on Saturday, I thought nope, had enough of this and started turning my thoughts around. And instantly felt better!

But here I am on Monday, still with the symptoms...I think partly because I really wanted to have a day off! Instead of marching on with me affirmations and releasing this...I think I kept it going so I wouldn't have to go to work today!!!

Or because part of me wanted justification...'see I have had a lot going on - I'm sick because of it'

No I'm not - I'm sick because of the thoughts I've chosen to think about my last week or so! 

There's often plenty of different things going on in my life, but I'm not a walking chest infection. Hence why this is such a classic version of Dr Mona Lisa's saying 'you don't need to remove anything from your life, just your interpretation.'

I've got the bin out ready!!!

The first thing to remove is my self-fulfilling prophecies - 'I always get this when I'm tired and have too much on.' That and 'Don't worry, I'm not contagious, this is my own special brand.'

Then there's the standards I create for myself...

• I have to use all of my time "well"
• I have to get it all done
• I have to do it all now
• This is taking too long
• I should have had this done before now

Then there's the sayings...

• I'm so busy (this is a post in itself that I'll get to another day!)
• I've got too much to do, and not enough time
• There's not enough hours in the day
• I just don't feel like I'm getting anywhere

Urrrggghhh - I feel worse just reading back over all of this! 

Turning it all around now into affirmations that help to keep me healthy...

• I am happy and healthy.
• I allow my body to return to it's natural state of great health.
• I always have more than enough time to do everything I need to do.
• I'm surrounded by help and support.
• Everything happens in the perfect Divine order.
• I'm always in the right place at the right time, doing the right thing.
• I allow my mind to relax and be at peace.
• I live in the now and take life one step at a time.
• I am safe. All is well in my world.

Ahhh, that's feeling better!

I'll get on to affirmations more another day, but essentially they're based on thinking thoughts that make you feel good. 

Some people scoff at affirmations or ask why would you bother? 

I defy anyone to say that their main motivator isn't to be happy. So when I've got a choice to purposely think a thought that makes me feel good/happy, I choose that every day of the week! 

I forget sometimes that I do have that choice, but as soon as I remember, I'm on the bandwagon well and truly.

Ok, well back to rest and recovery...or should I say removal and replacement. Out with the old negative thoughts, in with the new, happy and healthy ones!

Happy Monday!

I have a confession to make...

I've been breaking the rules!

And the silly thing is - I'm not really sure why because I really don't like to do that!!

I'm an honest person, I don't like to tell fibs let alone lie or make up fake excuses...and I really don't like breaking the rules!

Today was a classic at work - I essentially got a pre-warning warning. What on earth...I hear you ask?!

Well - for some reason I decided not to play by our compliance rules (despite being our department's most experienced compliance guru/nazi).

Essentially we have to get signoff before we print anything, or publish it on the website (surely you've seen the disclaimers at the end of bank/credit union ads?!). And for some reason - my brain decided to forget/ignore that and I just went about my job publishing a few things without the essential sign-off.

When I realised what I was doing today - of course I dobbed myself in. And I felt really awful about the whole thing - I haven't felt that guilty in ages! 

Particularly because my boss copped it a bit from another Exec. But I didn't get told off by my boss, because I did the telling off for him!

The best excuse I could come up with was having a brain fade...but then I wondered whether part of me did know what I was doing and just figured I could get away with it.

Me - get away with it, ha!

As Mum & Dad (and Nathan, and pretty much all other friends) will vouch - I'm an awful liar. 

If I get asked a direct question, I'm useless at telling a fib to cover it, I tend to just tell the truth or kind of go 'aaahhhh, well...' and hope the subject evaporates or gets changed!

And I'm not one of those kids who ever 'got away with it' because I'd usually feel guilty and dob myself in!

So anyway, why am I doing this and what's the lesson to learn?

Well after feeling guilty and beating myself up about it for an hour or so, I couldn't help but giggle. The whole thing is so silly to do something wrong effectively on purpose!

It dawned on me that this is a great example of self-sabotage, which appears to be showing up in a few ways of late.

Whether it's eating things I know my body doesn't like and figuring oh I'll be ok, despite knowing I'll feel ick after.

To not wearing the right attire to work (as in a bit more casual then I should be) - again I figured I could probably get away with it...because I work in marketing! Apparently not, because our HR manager had a whisper to our boss (about our whole department, not just me!)

And then little silly things like not sending in a form on time...staying over the time limit in a parking spot...not getting to work on time...beating myself up over things that have happened in the past...procrastinating...ignoring updating our budget...not making the time to study even though I love it...

It's like I'm angling for punishment!

Anyway, I'm going to put it out there that 'I release the need to self-sabotage' and see what else comes up as I go about ditching this old pattern that definitely no longer serves me.

And speaking of release...in exciting news - I got into Half Lotus in yoga yesterday for the first time, yippee! Here's picture evidence...

Look at me go!

It was a great surprise last night and confirms that I have let go of tension and blocks from my hips, which in mind-body terms means more balance in my life and I'm moving forward with ease.

And ain't that the truth!

So anyway, with the self-sabotage, rather than see this as a set-back or something I'm doing 'wrong'...I'm going to see it just as something else to let go of because I don't need it anymore.

And I'm looking forward to seeing what takes it's place!

What is normal?

In the past, I've been guilty of saying on numerous occasions 'I just wish I was normal'...

Years ago, this usually came as part of a sobfest on Nathan's chest, after a day/week/month of struggle against anxiety and inner turmoil.

But it seems to still be around as I only said it a week or so ago...I had an issue that had bubbled to the surface that I just wanted to go away, rather than work through it and release it which in turn would make me feel better!

And you know, clearly I'm the only one who has to deal with mental, physical and emotional issues (stemming from the past and present)...because EVERYONE else is 'normal' after all!!!

So what is my obsession with normal?

I think for me, when it comes out in the way I've described above...it means problem-free! But then, where's the fun in that!!!

Or it can be not wanting to be weird/different to others...not wanting to have things going on that someone could look down on me for (I like how my ego conjures up that last part...because clearly I have such unsupportive family and friends - ha!!)

And I should add that on the flipside of me wanting to be 'normal' is my other obsession with having things that are 'just a little bit different'...a bit of a McEachen family hobby I think!

So just what is this ever-elusive normal? Why do I/we even use the word?

Is it an obsession with comparing ourselves to others...always with the end result that we're not normal and someone else is. Is it just the good old 'I'm not good enough...'??

Because you can guarantee that in comparison to someone else, you're always lower, higher, taller, shorter, thinner, fatter, over, under...etc etc

Since I started writing the draft of this blog over a week ago, I've had plenty of additional information that is helping me release my need for normality.

For instance, as a friend mentioned to me last week, what is normal for me isn't normal for someone else. So then - who's the true normal?!

By Googling it, you get a bunch of different definitions.

One of them contains the word average...which leads to yet another discussion, because who is average?

An average can only ever be 1 number...so then what happens to the other zillion people who fit on either side of that 1 particular number?

Funnily enough, I was onto something with normal meaning problem-free, as there's a biological definition that says 'Free from any infection or other form of disease or malformation...'

But then, show me someone who doesn't have any issues or problems, and I think you'll be looking at someone who's dead!

Because as I hear time and time again...

It's not about being 100% disease-free for your entire life. It's not about being 'perfect'. Life is all about living, growing, learning and expanding.

And at the end of the day - I actually love the things that at times I've thought made me 'abnormal'! I love all of the so-called 'problems' I've had to deal with.

Particularly in the last 4 or 5 years where I've made it somewhat of a sport to continually dig deeper...or peel back the layers of the onion as I call it. Yes there's been some decent challenges, but I've found some absolute gems along the way.

I've learnt so much and I really am looking forward to having many more 'aha' moments.

Or that feeling or relief / pride when I've worked something out...be it the inner cause of an outer problem, or that I'd been holding on to a particular old memory without realising.

So the moral of this story - I've now decided that everyone is normal (myself included), just in their own particular way.

And instead of wanting to be anyone else, I'll now continue working on loving me for who I am - a unique individual with my own set of variables!