Monday, August 29, 2011

I'm back baby...bigger and better than ever!

I hadn't realised it had been so long since I posted my last blog, but it's nice to be tapping away at the keyboard again...and you'll definitely be hearing from me more often.

Boy have I had some great kerplunk moments these last couple of months.

There's been plenty of great lessons, plenty of unravelling and 'oooohhhh that makes so much sense now'!!! 

I've also had so much to smile about!

In general I feel like I'm at a much more contented place which is nice. 

It was funny because I hadn't realised quite how much had been simmering away under the surface until it all came spilling out in a few conversations.

Anyway, I'll stop speaking in riddles and get onto one of my kerplunks.

Lesson # 364 - Just because I have the time doesn't mean I have to fill it up!

In my last blog, I said about how I was going to work on identifying where I was overcommitting....say it out loud...and make a change.

And I'm proud to say I've achieved all of that. Not to say I'm perfect now, but my life is a lot different to the couple of months ago!

Anyway, getting back to lesson #364 and something I noticed fairly early in the unravelling...

Just when I started to create a bit of space for myself I seem to fill it back up again, and not with something for me.  

So why did I need to do this? Well I came up with a few ideas... 
  • Because I can 
  • I've got the time, so why not help someone else 
  • So others don't think I'm lazy! 
  • I enjoy helping 
All of which are quite valid reasons, but this knee-jerk reaction to fill up my time for someone else's benefit was keeping me away from doing things that I wanted to do for myself, or as Sonia Choquette puts it - doing what feeds my soul.

It was only a week or so before my last blog that I heard the Dalai Lama need to look after yourself first. 

And that he makes sure he takes care of himself first so that he has the energy to help others. 

So if it's good enough for the Lama - it's good enough for me!! 

Another part of lesson #364 has been learning when to say 'I'd love to, but maybe later'.

This was given a huge helping hand when my fabulous soul sister Kylie set me a challenge:

To not take on any more new things this year.

Sounds simple doesn't it. And as soon as she said it I said 'you're on'!! 

I love it - it makes so much sense, yet it took Kylie saying it to realise that it's exactly what I needed.

The best part is - I've stuck by it.

What I've set about doing these past couple of months is just ticking off what's already on my plate rather than adding more.

It's all about clearing the decks!

And so far it's been working a treat - exhibit a) having time to sit down again to write my blog.

Another huge shift in my life has been changing my expectations.

What I realised was that I'd been putting sooooo much pressure on myself and spinning myself into a internal one of course! 

I'm a bit clever really because I hadn't even noticed myself, then it all came tumbling out at a great rate of knots! 

In my mind, everything had to be done now.

And of course, good luck with that! 

What it turned into was having a huge to do list every single day...not knowing what to start next...or just beating myself up for having not done things I said I would.


Now I'm making it my mission to be realistic about the time it takes for me to do things...and more importantly being open about that and telling the people involved. 

Because for a long time it's been the source of stress and why I end up overcommitting and underdelivering. 

What I figured out was that it's a bit hard to know what I can do in a day/week/month/year if I don't know how long it all takes me.

Oooohhhh - why didn't I think of that before!

This little insight has literally revolutionised my whole working life and home life!! 

The final thing I've cottoned on to of late - I only need to take the next step.

Not the next 7, just the next 1. 

It was another thing I hadn't realised I was doing, but when I took a step back I could see why I was getting a bit frazzled over things - I wasn't breaking it down enough and was trying to do it all at once.

Aren't I a good little Gen Y - I want it and I want it now!!

Anyway, the good thing is, I've worked out how it feels when I'm jumping ahead to the next step...or 50 in front! 

And the good news is I've been listening to those intuitive nudges and taking a deep breath!

Speaking of the next step - I've started running.

Yep me - a runner! 

I was asked if I wanted to do the City to Bay a couple of months ago and I said sure, why not! I've never ran in my life (darting about on a netball court doesn't count), so I wasn't really sure how I'd go.

But I've loved it!

In itself, it's a great lesson in just putting one foot in front of the other rather than thinking too far ahead.

And more importantly - that you never know what you can do until you try!

So I thought I'd leave you with the photo of me before my first run - which by the way was a whole 2km without stopping, look at me go!!

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