What did you say?

The eagle eyes amongst you might have noticed that I started my last blog by saying that I'm finding insights, rather than the traditional Elmerism of hunting.

That's because I've been watching what I say and write of late so that it matches what I really mean, or more importantly what I'd like to project into my future.

Because as the legendary Louise Hay puts it...

Every thought you think and every word you say is an affirmation.

Some call it creating self-fulfilling prophecies...others say 'be careful what you wish for'...but all in all, I believe that the words you use shape your future experience.

Anyway, getting back to choosing your words wisely, here's two examples to get you thinking...

I can't wait!

I noticed a few weeks back how much I used to say 'I can't wait' a lot.

It was generally because I was excited about what was going to happen - but not that I literally couldn't wait for it happen.

When I thought about it, I realised that it implies wanting to jump ahead and not experience the moments that lead up to it.

It makes sense too, because I am working on releasing the need to be impatient!

As Louise puts it, impatience is just resistance. In many cases, it's resisting what you need to learn or experience along the way...or in my case, it was often not relaxing and having faith and just letting it all unfold as it needs to.

It used to manifest in a negative way back when I was having many an anxious moment - I would just want something to be over now so I didn't have to go through it.

But I think now, it had just become a habit.

Well not any more!

Since I noticed, I've worked on picking myself up anytime I go to say it and changing it.

Instead of I can't wait for... 

I now use I'm so looking forward to...

Semantics I know, but it does make a difference.

Saying 'I can't wait' brings in a sense of frustration and impatience...trying to pull it into your experience quicker.

Versus 'I'm looking forward to' which is about hope, excitement and being happy for it to happen when it does.

It almost makes me feel like I'm going to be unwrapping a present...ha ha ha I just realised that I would be - the present moment!

Should

This one little word is an absolute cracker. The first time I was introduced to what should means was when I did an anxiety workshop many moons ago.

In essence, the moment you mention should it creates right or wrong. 

It can also establish a rule or a standard that you think you're supposed to live by...and if you don't, watch guilt come in!

Or if the should is pointed at another person, enter anger or annoyance for them not living up to your standards.

My solution: ditch it! 

Getting back to Louise Hay, she puts it briliantly in her book You can Heal Your Life, where she says that any time you feel a should coming on, replace it with I could or I could choose to...

I should do that today.

I could choose to do that today.

See how much lighter it feels!

What other body changes do you notice? Shoulders lift? Head lift? Anything else?

In a great article that my lovely friend Ellen sent me, when you use 'should' in relation to another person - whose rule are you using?

And are you trying to put responsibility onto that person when in fact it's not their rule or standard and the way the other person acts is out of your control.

He should have let me know about that.

I would have liked it if he let me know about that.

There's a bunch of other words that I could talk about here...

In my opinion, never and always get bandied about way too much without actually being true...'knowing my luck' is just a great way to keep bringing more of the same into your life...'things always happen in 3's' even though plenty happen in 1's, 7's, 300's...and I could go on!

But anyway, your homework for this week is to notice what you say and what you write.

Don't become obsessive about it, but just notice if you say something often and how it makes you feel.

Does it make you feel good? Do you actually want that to come true? If not, is there another way to say it?

Are there any sayings or common words that you use as a habit, but don't actually mean?

Kick them to the kerb and replace with something better!

Have fun!

Ssshhhh...

Be very, very quiet...I'm finding insight!

When I left you last, I had just taken the huge leap and resigned from my job to focus on my studies and myself in 2012.

Well I'm pleased to say that I have done it and I'm loving it...without doubt it's the best decision I've ever made!

Not because I didn't like my job, but because now I have the luxury of TIME!!

My whole mindset has changed, because I'm no longer trying to cram my whole life and what I really want to do into the few hours after coming home at night or on a weekend.

I just feel so much more relaxed! It's amazing what's already come to fruition, now that I've got the space for it to happen. And now that I'm just following the bread crumb trail one step at a time.

Anyway, getting back to my original sentence (which I hope you read using your best Elmer Fudd voice) and why I'm finding insight.

I'm currently giving life time to unfold and show me exactly what I'll be doing this year. 

Because despite my original decision being based on a firm desire to go back to study and finish the course I started, that may not work out as first planned.

Exhibit a -  a week after I wrote the last blog, I found out that due to a technical issue they're no longer offering the course I had resigned to study in the form I started it in!!!

Cue the massive EEEEKKKKK moment...oh my goodness what have I done?!

Full scale panic set in and instead of just seeing this as a potential fork in the road that could lead to something even better, I went into crisis mode.

But I resigned to study THIS course...so what will I do now? People will think I'm completely stupid that I resigned without first enrolling. But then why would I have, because I didn't see this coming!!

I needed to have a reason as to why I was leaving my full-time job...and one that didn't sound as self indulgent as 'well I'm just going to see what comes up'!!

And look I'm really just starting to let go of 'having to study' because that's what I said I'd do. 

At the moment I'm realising that while yes initially that was the plan...and I've held fast to it over the past few months despite being less sure about it...it's ok to change plans!

It's ok to be taking on different work opportunities this year and doing a whole bunch of other stuff. Boy do I have a gazillion projects that I'm looking forward to getting off the ground this year.

I'm still going to be studying - just not in the formal setting where that's my only focus. There's so many courses I'd love to do this year, books I'd love to read, speakers I'd love to listen to...

And fortunately for me, I have an uber supportive husband who can see through my palaver, give it to me straight and support me in whatever will put a smile on my face. A recent conversation went a little bit like this...

Jess: I'm not sure about study now, I just don't know what I want to do.

Nathan: Stop worrying what others think. You don't need the piece of paper. Why don't you just take it one subject at a time - if you decide you like the sound of something, do it. 

Ah yes, he is great at cutting to the chase! 

And he was dead right. I do like the thought of having the piece of paper. 

Because then that says that I know what I'm talking about if I want to help someone else.

Why would someone want to listen to me if I don't have any credentials?

So there inlies the first part that I need to let go of. 

Because first of all, I'm not actually planning to go into private practice as a counsellor, and secondly - who says people won't want to listen to me...I might just have something interesting to say!

I think I get caught up in having to be an expert, or at least having someone else's teachings to back up what I'm saying.

Ha ha - perhaps this is the end belief of studying at Uni where you couldn't have your own opinion in an assignment...unless that is someone else had had that opinion first and you could reference it!

Anyway essentially I've worked out that I was identifying with the course, rather than the end result.

Which is that I want to help people heal...but by that I mean that I want to empower others to heal themselves. 


And what I really want to do - is help others connect to the ways that will help them do just that.

I don't want to profess to know everything - I actually really like just being a student of life and telling people about that.

The part of my own journey that I love is the brainstorming...why is this happening, what can I do to change it, what will help me do that??

And I just love learning!

Also, as I've said before - I'm happy to stand up on stage and say this is what I've done and it's worked for me...maybe it will work for you to? To help people realise that there's other people just like them who have had the same issues, they're not big fat weirdos and things can always get better!

The other part is - I really love introducing people to other people. 

The thought of putting on events that bring together a range of speakers, or having my own radio show where I can interview others is super exciting!

I love talking to others who are just as passionate as me about changing parts of yourself to let go of something, or make something better in your life.

And you know what I've worked out, perhaps this course isn't the best way for me to do what I really want to do, for now. (Ha ha, notice I said 'perhaps' and 'for now' - part of me still wants to cling to it as a life raft!)

Yes I've loved the subject matter, and perhaps I'll just keep chipping away at it. If it feels like the right thing to do.

But it's not a diploma I actually need to get started on my next job opportunities.

I've got everything I need already to start those off. (And you'll just have to stay tuned to see what they are!)

Part of me also wants to finish it, because aren't you always supposed to finish what you start?

Turns out I'm actually not great at that - and it's probably something you've picked up just from reading this blog or having any conversation with me.

I'm a tangent girl...and while I may hop from one thing to another, it all seems to come together in the end!

You want to know the funniest part about all of this - I actually started tapping this very blog out on my iPhone a week after I wrote the last one.

But I didn't want to share it until now because I think I was embarrassed.

Which shows I've forgotten the golden rule...there's always someone else who has gone through the same thing who can help. I don't have to do it all by myself!

And that I really do need to let go of needing others approval to make my own decisions right!

Anyway, as this photo clearly shows, I am absolutely free as a bird and I'm really looking forward to seeing where this year takes me...yippee!

What are your big rocks?

Have you heard the story about how to fit the big rocks & small rocks into a jar?

Essentially where unless you put the big rocks in first they won't fit?

Of late I've done a bit of thinking about what my big rocks are, and whether or not they're getting a look in.

And I've established that I'm letting a lot of the small rocks and sand take up my time (aka fill up my jar), so the big rocks are sitting on the side just waiting patiently.

I've gotten soooooo much better with this at work, where I plan my whole week out so I make sure I keep moving with tasks big and small.

Which means the big rocks aren't mounting up in the corner threatening to cause an avalanche!

But I haven't yet seemed to have mastered doing this in my life.

I'm not sure why really.

As I know I've blogged about before, I love being organised. I love having things to plan for and look forward to. I love having a list and ticking things off my list. I love having a variety of activities in my week. I love writing. I love studying. I love creating. And in general all work and no play makes Jess a dull girl!

But the more I think about it, in the past 6 months or so, I've become really reactive to life rather than creating it.

Which brings me back to the point of this story - figuring out what are my big rocks and whether they're in or out currently.

What I've realised is that work has become somewhat of a boulder...or maybe a slab of concrete!

I've allowed it to dominate my time and brain space, and so my study has gone on the back burner for a while...as in my course, my own soul-searching and reading in general.

So have all creative endeavours and hobbies in general. Not to mention writing my beloved blogs!

This is in keeping with what I was writing about above where if I don't plan my week in my life outside work, my big rocks just sit there with no movement.

As I'm sitting here typing this I feel a bit disappointed in myself...like I've wasted time.

But I guess there's no point on dwelling on what's happened this year. I've certainly learnt a lot from it and the whole way along I was doing the best I could with the knowledge & experience I had.

And it's not like I've been sitting idly twiddling my thumbs!

That in itself has been one of the reasons that I haven't progressed with study or had a variety of activities in my week...a big lack of thumb twiddling or down time in general.

It's been a full on year this year, and it's only recently that I sat back to say wow, I've had a lot on this year! (And a lot to be grateful for!)

Anyway as Louise Hay's thought for November 4th said:

All obstacles are stepping stones.

And ain't that the truth.

The realisation about work being an obstacle forced me to reassess my life and say what is it that I actually want? What are my big rocks that are sitting outside of my jar?

And it didn't take me long to work out.

I miss the world of holistic health. It's my passion. It forms a big part of my life purpose.

And I want to immerse myself in it. I want to live it. I want to study and learn more and get excited about it all.

I want to have conversations with others who are just as passionate about it. I want to meet teachers who can impart their own experience and wisdom onto me.

And did I mention that I want to learn more?!

I want to move towards my dreams of helping people heal and live happier lives...through writing books and blogs, holding seminars and workshops, collaborating with them on how to improve their own health and wellbeing, interviewing others about their ideas...and oh the list goes on.

The moment I think about all of this, I feel lighter and a smile starts to form - hence why I know it's the right step.

Of course, along with this kerplunk moment came the stark realisation that it means wholesale change.

But I had to do it.

So a couple of weeks ago I handed in my resignation, saying that I'm going back to study next year.

Was that scary? Yep and it still is!

Tonight I've been wrestling with a weight in my chest and a bunch of eeekkk...will this all work out? Where will I end up?

I think because people have been asking me what I'm doing and where it will take me and I tend to feel like I give a bit of an inadequate explanation of it all.

But then if I take a breath and stop trying to justify it, I feel completely calm and just know that despite not entirely knowing what all the steps are, it's all going to work out just fine.

So I think I'll focus more on that part, and less on the worry part!

Because just like I wrote in one of my last blogs, it's just a signal that I'm busting through my comfort zone, so that's a good thing!

I'm also super fortunate to be surrounded by such a huge amount of love and support, as well as people who will challenge me if I look like I'll attempt to slip back onto easy street...ie not change!

All in all I'm really looking forward to being a student next year and working part-time.

Which by the way is one of the unknowns...I've handed in notice to my current job on a leap of faith that the perfect job will present itself at the right time.

Looking back, I've always found it easy to get work and I don't expect it to be any different this time around.

And who knows what other doors will open once I've got the space in my life for them to do so!

Of course, if you've got any suggestions or contacts for part-time jobs in the Gawler area or what I can do from home from February onwards - let me know!

Anyway, back to the point of this...

What are your big rocks?


Are they in your jar or on the outer?


Are there any changes you want to make so that they can fit in?


There's no right or wrong answer to this, but it might be interesting for you to ponder...and you might be surprised by what comes out.

I was going to put a picture of a jar of rocks, but then I thought I'd use a photo of a South Australian big rock...aka one of the ones at Remarkable Rocks on Kangaroo Island that Nathan and I visited in July 09.


Which I've realised is fairly poignant, because another big rock I want to make sure I slot in is travel!


But that's another story!

Look out comfort zone, I'm coming through!

As most of you know, in the past few months I've had the opportunity to unleash my inner Princess!

And I thought that was the perfect segway into talking about getting out of my comfort zone.

Because despite the fact that I'm a fairly confident person - I still have plenty of moments where I go eeekkk...do I really want to get myself into this? Maybe it's safer just to stay here!

Generally my hesitation revolves around lovely little doubts like...

• Will I be able to fit this in?
• It'll take too long!
• Will I be able to commit to this fully?
• Do I really want/need to do this?
• I'm happy staying here!
• Can I be bothered?!

Sometime I notice and think - aha! The perfect reason to do this is to get out of my comfort zone and prove that I can do it.

After all, how can I grow if I stay the same and not try new things?

But then there's plenty of other times I haven't noticed that I'm putting things off because of little fears and doubts...sneaky, very sneaky!

Anyway, back to letting my inner Princess out because it's such a great example of how I've had to go charging through my comfort zone several times these past few months and have definitely grown as a person because of it.

Not the least of which was just putting my hand up to do it!

But first of all, for those reading this that aren't Adelaideans, I really should explain what I'm talking about!

I work for Police Credit Union who are a proud sponsor of the Credit Union Christmas Pageant...a huge, iconic event on the Adelaide calendar that heralds the start of Christmas here in SA, and is such an amazing event to be part of!

Anyway, one of the traditions is to have Princesses from the different sponsoring credit unions (and now Princes!) and you go through an interview process to potentially become Queen.

In the past, I'd always been on the interview panel at work to pick our royalty, but with my change in roles this year I was free to put my hand up...although it took some serious thought on my part as to whether I wanted to do that!

Do I really want to? Will I have enough time? Am I someone who wears a puffy pink frock?! What will people think of me?

In the end I thought you know what, if I'm picked as Princess it'll definitely put me out of my comfort zone.

Yes I'm good with the public speaking and have plenty of community spirit...but acting like a Princess and hanging out with a whole bunch of kids will be new things for me!

At any rate, I'm so glad I nominated because it's been great fun - even if I have had to take a few big leaps since.

The comfort zone was flashing red (or should that be pink!) the day I had to do media training - the crux of which is being put on the spot and having to answer mock questions from a journalist.

Yes I know I can talk and talk and talk, and I'm even one of those weirdos who enjoys public speaking. But I much prefer knowing the questions in advance and rehearsing!!

Anyway, deep breaths, smiling, adrenaline, quick thinking and marketing speak pulled me through there and it wasn't so hard after all.

The next encounter with the old c-zone happened when the PR company called to say did I want to be on TV for a short news story?!

Of course I was a bit nervous, but I jumped at it thinking it'd be something completely different to anything I'd done before. And I'm really glad I did!

I even got told I was a media natural by several people so I was chuffed! See what you think - can you tell I'd had to crash through the zone...



A big part of our royal duties is going out to schools and hospitals to visit kids and sprinkle a little bit of Pageant magic into their lives. Yet again it's been an opportunity to jump over a comfort zone hurdle (particularly learning the lines for our little play!).

But again it's been so much fun!

I think the fortunate thing for me is that I am able to push through fear and use my nervous energy to my advantage.

And it's also fortunate that I only tend to blush slightly now so apparently it's not so obvious that my heart is beating at a rapid rate of knots!!

Another thing that spurs me on is a very clear memory I have from when I was 4.

I was asked if I wanted to do a little spin on the catwalk for a local fashion parade and my first reaction was one of terror! No I don't think I can do that...how will I look? What will people think of me? (Oh yes, I had anxiety issues way back then!)

I quickly said no thanks, but then as I watched the little girls moseying up the catwalk later, I realised I could have done it easily.

It's provides such a good reminder to me that I don't want to regret not trying something because of a few butterflies (whether they're small or large!).

And I'm sure you'll agree with me that it's never as hard as what you thought it would be anyway!

Lastly, another reason I like getting out of my comfort zone - either by doing new things, or going first at something - is that I like to inspire others to do the same.

After all, if I can do it - you can too!

I think it's part of the reason I was put here, even if it sounds trivial.

Despite what my head sometimes tells me, I really don't mind being up on display (exhibit a is this blog!), particularly if it'll help someone else realise what they are capable of.

Oh and the other check I now do when I'm kicking off 'Operation: Bust through CZ' is to check am I actually nervous or excited??

My fabulous friend Kylie introduced me to this little trick and apologies if I've written about this before.

On the surface, fear and excitement can present as really similar physical sensations...ooohhh, that's  right you say!

So if you go into your physical feeling a bit, or stand back from it for a second, you might just find that you're not actually experiencing anxiety - you're just excited with the anticipation of it all!

Anyway, the next time you're faced with an opportunity to get out of your comfort zone, just think of me in my pink Princess frock and...


GO FOR IT!!!

Speaking of comfort zones...the day I had to get frocked up, pick from a bunch of props and ham it up for our glam royal shoot definitely propelled me out of mine. It was like free choice writing at school...aaahhh, don't tell me I can do anything, give me a structure to be creative within! Anyway, after a deep breath and thinking 'I can do this!', voila the butterfly Princess was born!!

A big thanks to the very talented Liam West who took this pic, the man's got skills with a camera.

© Lightly Salted/Liam West 2011

The only way to change your life is to do it yourself!

I think I’ve forgotten this!

There’s a few things that I’ve been wanting to change about  my life, but have realised I’ve been waiting for it to magically land in my lap…or if I whinge enough then someone else will do it for me. Ha ha!

And whinging really isn’t my style. In fact it feels awful!

It's made me feel so unbalanced, and it just feels unnatural…not the happy, laid back being that I like to be!

I much prefer being positive, looking at what I want, putting it out there and following the bread crumb trail the Universe lays down for me…

Backed of course by writing often to celebrate my wins, delve further into my life and let go of any old patterns – staying in my head with my thoughts is a crowded place, the instant I put it on paper it’s amazing what comes to light!

And did I mention keeping my thoughts focused on the positive - it's amazing how much lighter I feel when I stick to this simple little trick!

But I’ve allowed myself to get dragged into the quagmire of stagnant thinking by my ego who’s role is to keep me from changing, improving and in general getting out of my comfort zone!

I don’t like this, I don’t like this…I wish this would change…why are they doing that…it’s not my fault (ha ha, my own personal favourite!)…

All in all I’ve been doing way too much in my head and not getting it out. The sneaky thing is I hadn’t realized how much was hiding until the last week or so when I started saying it out loud.

So what now?

#1 - Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change

This little saying has had such a profound effect on my life any time I’ve thought to apply it!

You know when you feel stuck about something and suddenly you see that little glimmer of light that there is another option…

How much better do you then feel when you realise you can change something about the situation!

The simplest flip is to look for the positive in something rather than the negative.

Quickest way to do that – in the midst of whatever’s happening, say ‘I’m grateful for…’

You can always find something to say thank you for even if not everything’s going ‘right’ for you.

It could be ‘I’m grateful that this is showing me exactly what I don't want'!! Or 'I'm grateful to be learning something new about myself...'

Another other good trick - taking a step back to say all in all my life is great, and there's definitely stacks of people who are worse off.

Not to mention lifting up from the problem to see how in the grand scheme of things, this is a very small part of my life!

Don't believe your ego when it tells you it's a life threatening issue...chances are it isn't!!

#2 - Be the change you want to see in the world

I’ve done a cracking job of acting like a victim of late. Blame’s a powerful tool of the ego, trying to convince you that it’s not your fault!

But who’s the person making each choice in your life…no-one else can think for you!

Yes they can give you plenty of input, giving you ammunition to say ‘well it’s not my fault…they convinced me…’

But at the end of the day – you are the only person who can think for you. You are the only person who can make each choice, take each step etc etc.

So time for this Princess to suck it up and start taking full responsibility again!

And that in itself is a great feeling.

Saying to myself ‘I take full responsibility for my life’ makes me lift straight away.

Taking responsibility for my own life has such an empowering effect. It brings me back into the realm of solutions, rather than focusing on the problem.

#3- Choose to choose your thoughts!

I’m a big fan of the law of attraction, it just makes sense to me.  In it’s simplest form, I see it as creating self-fulfilling prophecies.

Hence why I’m often heard to say ‘well if you think that’s going to happen, then it will’!

How I feel and what I say creates my life…and I haven’t been guarding my thoughts and statements enough lately.

I’ve been letting a bunch of sludge hang out in my head and come out of my mouth!

As the lovely Louise Hay says – every thought is an affirmation.

So by complaining, you’re affirming that you’d like more of that in your life.

Conversely, by choosing your thoughts and making them positive, the results are instant…more things to be positive about!

And so now I’m sure you can connect the dots… by focusing purely on what I don’t like – I’m creating more off that!

#4 - Stop trying to stop the flow, just sit back and enjoy the ride!

In the past month or so, I’ve just felt like I’m either swimming up stream, or just been trying to jam the oar in to stem the flow.

I’ve had the lovely combination of either trying to force things and being impatient…or sitting back and whinging about what isn’t changing.

So now I've decided to get out of my own way!

Stop taking life so seriously...relax...and whenever I feel like I'm forcing things, I'm going to put up the white flag and say universe, your move!!

Because after all, I know that everything is happening in the perfect order and it will all be revealed just at the right time!

So I thought I'd leave you with a photo of me sitting on the beach at Byron last week...a great example of where I had a few moments of aaaahhhhhh.....and boy was I grateful for it...

And PS - Kristin & Lisa, this one's for you! Thank you for reminding me of my now 5 week old promise to write more blogs again!!

I'm back baby...bigger and better than ever!

I hadn't realised it had been so long since I posted my last blog, but it's nice to be tapping away at the keyboard again...and you'll definitely be hearing from me more often.


Boy have I had some great kerplunk moments these last couple of months.


There's been plenty of great lessons, plenty of unravelling and 'oooohhhh that makes so much sense now'!!! 


I've also had so much to smile about!


In general I feel like I'm at a much more contented place which is nice. 


It was funny because I hadn't realised quite how much had been simmering away under the surface until it all came spilling out in a few conversations.


Anyway, I'll stop speaking in riddles and get onto one of my kerplunks.


Lesson # 364 - Just because I have the time doesn't mean I have to fill it up!


In my last blog, I said about how I was going to work on identifying where I was overcommitting....say it out loud...and make a change.


And I'm proud to say I've achieved all of that. Not to say I'm perfect now, but my life is a lot different to the couple of months ago!


Anyway, getting back to lesson #364 and something I noticed fairly early in the unravelling...


Just when I started to create a bit of space for myself I seem to fill it back up again, and not with something for me.  


So why did I need to do this? Well I came up with a few ideas... 

• Because I can 
• I've got the time, so why not help someone else 
• So others don't think I'm lazy! 
• I enjoy helping 

All of which are quite valid reasons, but this knee-jerk reaction to fill up my time for someone else's benefit was keeping me away from doing things that I wanted to do for myself, or as Sonia Choquette puts it - doing what feeds my soul.


It was only a week or so before my last blog that I heard the Dalai Lama say...you need to look after yourself first. 

And that he makes sure he takes care of himself first so that he has the energy to help others. 

So if it's good enough for the Lama - it's good enough for me!! 

Another part of lesson #364 has been learning when to say 'I'd love to, but maybe later'.


This was given a huge helping hand when my fabulous soul sister Kylie set me a challenge:


To not take on any more new things this year.


Sounds simple doesn't it. And as soon as she said it I said 'you're on'!! 


I love it - it makes so much sense, yet it took Kylie saying it to realise that it's exactly what I needed.


The best part is - I've stuck by it.


What I've set about doing these past couple of months is just ticking off what's already on my plate rather than adding more.


It's all about clearing the decks!


And so far it's been working a treat - exhibit a) having time to sit down again to write my blog.

Another huge shift in my life has been changing my expectations.

What I realised was that I'd been putting sooooo much pressure on myself and spinning myself into a frenzy...an internal one of course! 

I'm a bit clever really because I hadn't even noticed myself, then it all came tumbling out at a great rate of knots! 

In my mind, everything had to be done now.

And of course, good luck with that! 

What it turned into was having a huge to do list every single day...not knowing what to start next...or just beating myself up for having not done things I said I would.

Bleurgh! 

Now I'm making it my mission to be realistic about the time it takes for me to do things...and more importantly being open about that and telling the people involved. 

Because for a long time it's been the source of stress and why I end up overcommitting and underdelivering. 

What I figured out was that it's a bit hard to know what I can do in a day/week/month/year if I don't know how long it all takes me.

Oooohhhh - why didn't I think of that before!

This little insight has literally revolutionised my whole working life and home life!! 

The final thing I've cottoned on to of late - I only need to take the next step.

Not the next 7, just the next 1. 

It was another thing I hadn't realised I was doing, but when I took a step back I could see why I was getting a bit frazzled over things - I wasn't breaking it down enough and was trying to do it all at once.

Aren't I a good little Gen Y - I want it and I want it now!!

Anyway, the good thing is, I've worked out how it feels when I'm jumping ahead to the next step...or 50 in front! 

And the good news is I've been listening to those intuitive nudges and taking a deep breath!

Speaking of the next step - I've started running.

Yep me - a runner! 

I was asked if I wanted to do the City to Bay a couple of months ago and I said sure, why not! I've never ran in my life (darting about on a netball court doesn't count), so I wasn't really sure how I'd go.

But I've loved it!

In itself, it's a great lesson in just putting one foot in front of the other rather than thinking too far ahead.

And more importantly - that you never know what you can do until you try!

So I thought I'd leave you with the photo of me before my first run - which by the way was a whole 2km without stopping, look at me go!!

I have overcommit-itis!

Overcommit-itis is also known as overpromising and underdelivering...trying to be superwoman and not achieving it...doing things by halves...spreading myself too thin...

And unfortunately, I've realised that I've been doing this in every aspect of my life.

So how did I realise this?

Well funnily enough, it was while I was at my yoga class tonight that I suddenly came to me.

In actual fact, it was one of the biggest kerplunks I've had for a while!

I love that about yoga - for me it's a case of the stillness speaks. (Aka my mind stops, so there's room for answers and guidance to come in!!)

That and I'm becoming more attuned to my body, so when I have some sort of pain or tension, I tap into it and unravel the sensation, emotion and then thoughts (and thank you Dr Susan Bernstein for teaching me this great trick!)

But more on that later.

As I was saying - I realised that I do currently suffer from overcommitting, in every sense of the word.

In no particular order, I overcommit my:

• Time
• Resources
• Money
• Time
• Body
• Mind
• And did I mention time!

So how have I realised this?

Well in the last week and today in particular, I've had a few really healthy reality checks about how I am overcommitting.

• I've realised with a shock that my budget hasn't been complete or accurate enough to achieve everything we want to do - hello overcommitting and spreading ourselves too thin!
• I've realised that another symptom has been getting to work late...which has all stemmed from overcommitting my time in the morning to try and fit in yoga, making lunch, getting ready...and all when I'm struggling to get out of bed by 6.10 to leave at 7...yep, you do the maths!
• I've realised that at work I'm not setting realistic enough expectations for how much I can do in a day or week, so deadlines go by.
• I've realised that while my heart's in the right place, I've overcommitted the amount of time and resources I can allot to helping out in my community service roles.
• And you know what, I think more the I think about this, the more I'm going to go...oooohhh, there's another way I overcommit!

I don't do any of this with an intention to mislead, or with any kind of malice, in fact whenever I commit to something, I really think I can achieve it.

What I'm learning though is - I'm great at coming up with ideas, great at making plans (and making them look pretty!), but my problem is that in general I either don't make the deadlines realistic enough, or I just put too much on my plate at once because I...yep you guessed it, overestimate my abilities to achieve it all!

And while I like to think of myself as someone who doesn't do things by halves, I've been giving myself no other option than to do just that.

Perhaps it is just what I was writing the last blog about - needing to learn how to say no to things? 

Meanwhile, apologies if this sounds like cryptic, but it makes sense to me!

The best part of this realisation is how neatly it flows on from my last blog about releasing the need to be superwoman, because I think this kind of answers part of the how to do it.

So now what?

Well I think I'm going to spend the next week or so identifying everywhere that I am overcommitting, and putting my hand up to say 'sorry, I know I said I could do this, but it turns out I was wrong. I'll just need to change/stop...'

Because that's another symptom of my overcommit-itis, I tend to keep it all to myself until I have gotten very close to or over the deadline...and then say eek or try and be superwoman!

And you know what, I think people will be pretty receptive to this kind of honesty.

Then from there, I need to work out strategies on how I can change the way I approach my life.

But at least I've got the hardest bit done now - identifying what the problem is!

Phew - told you this was a big kerplunk!!!

PS I was going to make my own version the above image with it saying kerplunk...but realised this would be overcommitting my time tonight as it's after 10 and I need to go to bed so I can get up on time tomorrow morning...he he, look at me go!!!